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Network Rail to have control of tracks at weekends only

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Citing ‘irreconcilable breakdowns’, the government has decided that henceforth Network Rail can only have access rights to the rail network at weekends, public holidays and any other inconvenient time possible. ‘It’s been a stormy relationship,’ said Transport Secretary Chris Grayling.

Critics stated that the relationship had been doomed from the beginning, and that there would inevitably be ‘the wrong kind of anguish’ on the tracks.
Commuter groups have applauded the decision, stating that the problems had been signalled clearly, red flags had been raised and, predictably, whistles had been blown. ‘It’s late,’ noted one commuter, nodding at to 17:10 to Wolverhampton.


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